BLOG:REKNOWING

Flailing About…
Dating, Divorce Matthew Kosterman Dating, Divorce Matthew Kosterman

Flailing About…

A few words on the delay since the last post (my mother’s eulogy, notwithstanding). My post where I outed myself for engaging a “Facebook Affair” did not go over very well with my children, which shouldn’t have been a surprise to me, but it was because in my haste to get it off my chest and move the story along, I did not give sufficient thought to what the effects would be closer to home. I should have handled things differently. I am very sorry I did not.

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Separation Anxiety
Divorce, Marriage, Therapy Matthew Kosterman Divorce, Marriage, Therapy Matthew Kosterman

Separation Anxiety

Wherein we read about the fate of the best laid plans of a man…

Alright, let’s get back to it, shall we? I’ve been suffering from a bit of writer’s block. When I last left you, it was September 2009. I had moved out of my house, separating from my wife of fourteen years. It was done without any planning at all and yet it was the right thing. Sometimes it takes the passage of time to see things this clearly, however.

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Into the Abyss
Divorce, Marriage, Money, Therapy Matthew Kosterman Divorce, Marriage, Money, Therapy Matthew Kosterman

Into the Abyss

2007 wasn’t all bad. It was that year that Karen, a dear friend, suggested I begin charging for my photography. Since before my kids were born I was fascinated with photography. Both my grandfathers were enthusiasts, but it was actually the late 80’s wave of black & white posters by Ansel Adams, Henry Cartier Bresson and others that really lit a match for me. Interestingly, in retrospect, it is clear to me that the camera was an ideal device to allow me to participate in life but also to keep me hidden so I didn’t have to fully engage, especially with my family of origin.

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The “D” Word
Divorce, Money Matthew Kosterman Divorce, Money Matthew Kosterman

The “D” Word

Divorce. This is a topic I’ve been kicking around for several years, trying to figure out how to tackle it. I’m writing it now (on what is the ten year anniversary of our split) because it seems the divorce rate is creeping up among those in my circles and there are a couple that are getting pretty ugly. As I mentioned in a previous post, I separated from my wife of 15 years in the fall of 2009 and we divorced in late 2010. Our daughters were six and nine at the time and it was, as you might expect, fairly distressing all around. And yet… we all survived and, it could even be said, thrived.

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